Stream-of-consciousness or whatever's annoying me at the time...typically boring American blogginess.
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Saturday, July 31, 2010
I Got an Owie!
I did the full warm up, today (running, tumbling, the whole nine). When I left the gym, my shirt was soaked. It was torn, too. So, much for Izod. It used to fit snugger than it does, now. I submitted a guy cuz I got him in a hold and he couldn't breathe because my shirt was so wet. I guess I used a 'gi' move on him. I'll need to get some UnderArmor, I guess. I'm not bad, but Ion't think my body is ready to be displayed like that, yet. Gimme six weeks at this pace, though.
There was a kid rolling today...11 years old. I felt all paternalistic toward him. I showed him how to do a single leg takedown. (Damn! My nose was bleeding. I did not realize that til I just blew it.) The kid has a good grasp of technique.
There was another brotha there who goes by 'King'. Um...ok. He's a boxer. His arms were very defined and strong. I tell you this not in admiration or anything. It's just that different disciplines have different strong suits. Throwing 10 & 12-ounce gloves around constantly is going to make your arms and shoulders strong. I submitted him once, but mainly I showed him a couple things, and gave him my basic philosophy: When a guy is moving your arm or leg a certain way or maneuvering you a certain way, don't let him. Cuz, he's gonna do something next that's usually REALLY gonna hurt. So, when he pulls your arm, take your arm back. This was King's second class in this discipline. He seemed to appreciate what I showed him.
I sparred with Pedro, again. Sparring with Pedro is tiring. He's very strong and he's always trying to do something to you that's gonna hurt...a lot. So, I spent a bit of time reversing holds and passing his guard and trying my damnedest not to get the shit choked out of me (literally...that'd be VERY embarrassing).
That brings to mind my last class. One guy asked an instructor, "If a guy shits himself and quits, does that count as a submission." The instructor said, "No...but, if you shit yourself and your opponent doesn't want to continue, then THAT's a submission." LoL...fighter humor.
Anyway, Pedro told me that our instructor TOLD him to wear me out today. It seems that I've already gotten a reputation for being 'big & strong' and this was my second class at this gym. Well, I have to admit it: I gassed. I tapped and I wasn't even in a hold. I was just fucking T-I-R-E-D. Six minute rounds and this was the third? Yeah, the new guy was spent. I'm going to get better, though. Trust me on that.
Anyway, I got it together and then fought one of the 'gi' fighters. See, there's 'gi', traditional jiu jitsu with the belt and the robe (see pic above). Then, there's 'no gi'. (pic right) Gi is a lot more traditional, as you might imagine. 'No gi' might seem like wrasslin', but it like many martial arts is very scientific in its approach to anatomy and specialized forms of personal mayhem.
I'm having a BLAST. Now, to find some liquid bandage.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'
And to think: I wanted to do this.
...the fuck?!?
Yeah, I'm back in jiu jitsu. I freaking LOVE this. How come I jump rope better than the Brazilian chicks? (THAT was distracting, by the way. I tripped over the rope a couple/few times trying to NOT watch the jigglage. Eventually, I had to turn and face the wall.) That's another indicator that I'm serious about this stuff. There was a chick fight with Brazilian chicks, no less, going on mere feet from me. (The girls sparred.) I didn't even stop to watch.
I'm so machoor!!! ←← LOL@that
On the plus side, before I gas, I move very quickly for my size. My sparring partner didn't believe that I weigh 253 lbs. Let me lose the 25 like I want. [white girl voice]Oh...my...god! Ohmigawd![/white girl voice]
But, for real, there is more room for improvement than you can imagine. I could not sink a guillotine on that smooth, bald head. My cardio is ass. But, Imma fix THAT.
Can somebody go to Sam's Club and get me one of those Tub o' Ibuprofen bottles, please! Thank you in advance!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Bash de Bunda
Women are appalled by this. I'm amused.
"Would you really let some chick smash her sweaty, musty, juicy booty into your face like that?!?"
Uh...hell yeah! In fact, if you got a big, shapely ass and can do a handstand like that chick without powdering your metacarpals: Call me!
Haha!
Crash and...BURN
Shoes smokin' like Frederick P. Flintstone's feet...
Dating...
Y'all been doin' this shit all these years? No wonder half of y'all are completely fucking nuts. Shit. Everybody's looking for The One, while they're hangin' out with The Few; but talkin' shit to the many. The fear is palpable. I can smell it...like a schmear on the bottom of my shoe ill-gotten by stepping on an shitty, unseen Pamper left out in the Georgia sun for the six hottest hours of the day. She's thinking, "If I give one mo' muthafukkah a piece of my heart and he breaks it, it might drive me insane." But, she'll never say it. He's thinking, "If I go out with another chick portraying herself like she's a lady, but she's actually crazy as fuck..."
More later, maybe. I just dozed.
Monday, May 24, 2010
A Return to Chill Civility
No...it's not ABOUT sex. I'm in Atlanta. Look up the ratio of women to purely heterosexual men. Then, factor in 6'4"…240#...employed...reasonably nice looking...intelligent. If it was just about ASS, chances are: I wouldn't be tryna holla @ YOU.
It's about companionship. But, I think I get it. I think I realize what I need to do.
This should be interesting.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
The catharsis of "closure" is, more often than not, a selfish need to vent at someone who did not take the course of action that YOU preferred. It is the adult equivalent to a temper tantrum...a hissy fit, if you will. The desired outcome of 'closure' is that the other party/parties know exactly why YOU are dissatisfied.
Meh! I just watched a 40-year-old woman throw a complete, fucking hissy fit in her lame attempt to get closure. It highlighted just how petty she actually is. Well, hopefully she got the emotional stabilization she so desperately needed out of that.
*smh*
This is one reason why I just STOP talking at a certain point. Communication has failed. The other person has already decided in her own mind what the state of reality currently is, normally based on her own mental state, without consulting mine and declared this is the way it is. I get annoyed because I see & know the things that she's failed to consider, but rather than ASK, she declares that 'this is how things are'. So…fine! That's how things are. I withdraw. Then, she gets upset because I didn't respond and argue with her about the shit. So, I put those things she ignored/didn't see in front of her and then she feels silly!
Monkeyshines…
Anyway, lemme do some more work.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
r e s o l v e
People don't realize that 2Pac on many of his more popular songs was actually a BLUES artist. I've dedicated "Do for Love" to myself for one very important reason: I'm a "sucka for Love". *smh@me* But, listen to the song.
That is the same blues that John Lee Hooker used to sing about. Life is a trap. I've let myself get caught up. I'm going to need to break out of this trap some kind of way. I've considered seriously returning to the ways of my youth.
Despite yourself, you give someone your heart. They hand it back with a sniff of disdain and walk away without ever once looking back. See the failure in that sequence? Giving somebody your heart is akin to a cow walking up to a butcher and bowing it's head before the ax. You have no one to blame but yourself.
F'real, though: the next chick that tells me that I'm not 'being fair' by comparing her to the way other people have treated me because she's DIFFERENT than them is gonna get laughed at and walked away from.
The blues...despair, rejection, survival. When he says, "My god!", that's more angst than a little bit. That's why his music hit folks at such a visceral level.
...and, I keep nodding and plugging away at this shitheap known colloquially as "life" until I don't have to. It's time for a change.
Friday, May 07, 2010
Irritable
How many times have you seen a MAINSTREAM commercial that had five black guys and one white guy and it wasn't about a basketball team? But watch a beer commercial and they always include ONE black dude! So, if you have ONE black dude in your clique, then you must be doing ok, right? Consider, though, that you have never seen the ratio inverted in a commercial for something enjoyable. Folks will immediately roll their eyes and figure, "Oh, lord! Here we go! Another rant about racism! GET OVER IT!!! Your people are not slaves, now!" That reaction proves my point, though.
I was looking at MSNBC perforce, today. One of the plasma displays in the lobby is set to play that channel. I'm looking at how Black folks are represented in the mainstream media. It is all conditioning for the simpleminded and reinforces the stratification and status quo of our society. MSNBC is considered "liberal" media. If so, they're a worse offender even than FOX News. Fox is, at least, blatant about their bigotry. MSNBC discusses money and politics. The imagery they present is subtle. The authorities, sources and personalities they present on what is viewed as important are overwhelmingly White. The advertising for financial information is represented by an overwhelming White base of actors. Diversity is filled by a minority woman, killing two birds with one stone.
But, when something viewed as NEGATIVE is addressed, the imagery that you see is accompanied by Black Male faces.
'Jobless claims rose 2.43% last quarter. *Videos of Black men filling out paperwork in the unemployment office play*'
'The President's Healthcare Initiative hit another snag today! *A Black representative is interviewed who dutifully mentions marching with Martan Loofa Kang*'
...and, you dumb muthafukkaz fall for the okey doke, too.
You're being managed and conditioned by the things you're shown. And, you think this is the 'natural' order of things.
Original thought remains at a premium. Ugh!
Does this mean that minority people are some paragons of virtue and intellect? Hell, naw! What it means is: you need to start learning to think for yourself, you lemming! You might even want to consider NOT patronizing these media outlets who perpetuate these stereotypes.
To be fair, I can't speak a lick of Spanish that isn't profane, so I don't know how reputable Spanish news sources are. But, Black News is ass! Two bomb threats in a week in New York and the headlines on BlackPlanet are:
- Is Toyota Mocking Hip-Hop's "Swagger"?
- LisaRaye's 3 Tips For Single Mothers
- Caption This: What Is Rick Ross Trying To Say In This Photo?
- 5 Reasons J Lo Is Going From GIANT To Medium
Hot News
- Paper Depicts Obama As Character From "Sanford And Son"
- Police Shoot Man's Dogs In Marijuana Raid With Children Present
- Black Tea Partier Says "Uncle Tom Was A Hero"
- Jon Stewart Pokes Fun At Roland Martin's Ascot
- Man Says Woman Stabbed Him With Scissors Over Bad Sex
- School District Defends Blacks Only Field Trip
- P. Diddy's Sean John Gets Exclusive Deal With Macy's
- Europe Faces Pressure To Pay Slavery Reparations
- Swift Arrest Of Bombing Suspect A Rare Win For Embattled Holder
- Evidence Mounts For Taliban Involvement In Times Square Bombing
- President Of Nigeria Dies After Long Illness
- Higher Percentage Of Blacks Than Whites On Twitter
- Washington Times Times Says Term "Teabagger" Is Like N-Word
- Why Is The Jamaican Prime Minister Protecting A Reputed Criminal?
- Black Leaders Urge Indictments Of Police In Teen's Alleged Beating
- Sharpton And Phoenix Mayor To Lead March Against Immigration Law
They found a suspicious package in a cooler in front of a hotel in Times Square. Somebody's lunch is about to get detonated.
Oh...and the Times Square terrorist is about as much of a terrorist as The Shoe Bomber. Some weirdo goes looking for Al Qaeda training and Al Qaeda giggles behind its hand. "You want to blow up what? Ok, my friend, here's how you make a bomb! Yes, yes! 72 virgins! Remember connect the red wire here! A salaam alaikum! You know, we have this new underwear bomb! Go and show The Great Shaitan the power of Jihad!!!" Then, they send the idiot on his merry way. They've lost nothing but the time it takes to show that moron the basics.
That fool is in there singing like a canary, too...and ain't sayin' shit. They let him pee on himself once and made him sit in it. Now, he done gave them every bit of information he's learned since he was eight years old. *smh* Terrorist, my ass!
Thursday, May 06, 2010
Youuuuuuuuu!
She went into her office and I went on to the kitchen to clean out my cup. So, as I was in the kitchen sub-audibly remembering something that I'd forgotten, who should walk through but the admin. She asked me who I was talking to. I said, "Myself." I was pouring cream into my cup when she walked past. Using scientific observation methods developed through years of practical research, I was able to determine that the modest bootymeat that I spied was indeed a natural blessing and not an enhancement. Well, all right!
I made the mistake of clicking a YouTube link that my son sent me. Now, I can't get the screamo version of Crank That (Soulja Boy) out of my head. I'm disturbed that I like that version better than the original.
"Youuuuuuuuuuu!"
As Mentioned Elsewhere
A chick is not qualified to wear shoes from Frederick's until she's been Supermanned at least once.
...and that exhausts all Soulja Boy references for a year...or until he does something ELSE stupid (like release another CD)...whichever comes first.
Sleeepy!
When I do finally fall asleep during the day, somebody or something invariably wakes me up. My consciousness is tattered right about now, though.
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
Where's Johny Sabatino?
I gotta get out.
I can't stay here.
* * * * * * * * * *
I gotta get out.
I can't stay here.
* * * * * * * * * *
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Pysdauf? Gneau! Pysdon!
Self-containment remains out of reach. Ugh! I can't even blame the Universe this time in some lofty reach for grandiosity. This shit's solely on my shoulders.
You sits the fuck down and you shuts the fuck up!
My turn...
I need food and sleep.
- Counsel ≠ console. When I feel like being fussed at, I’ll let YOU know.
- If it ain’t important enough for you to leave a message, it ain’t important.
- Yes…I am!
- STFU! I got the mic! <==
- ‘Heck’ is as much of a cuss word as ‘hell’. Stop fooling yourself. They’re both used as modifiers. You think that changing a couple letters is gonna fool God when the communicative thought is the same? “Bloody” is a cuss word in some places. “Puta” is foul in certain languages. “Scheisse” is in still others. Since you censor your language, censor your thinking. Otherwise, you’re just wasting time.
Happy anniversary to my parents! 42 years and they're still together. I love and appreciate the example of commitment that they've set for me.

Friday, April 23, 2010
Bilal
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Game! Blouses!
I annoy myself when I don't listen to me.
Re:The Flow...
" Reply #8 on: September 22, 2002, 02:47:46 AM »
It would take an aggressive woman to interest me. I'm not even tryna hear "no" or "I like you for a friend, but..." ever again in life.
Re:The Flow...
" Reply #12 on: October 3, 2002, 12:59:23 AM »
This is the day the earth stood still!
Klaatu verada nikto, muhfukkaz!
I'm not ready for another 'anything'. There's entirely too much free-floating chaos entangled in my lifeline.
Ideally, one adult is not responsible for another's emotional well-being. Reality, being the bastard that it is, often makes one the focus of another's attentions. Having empathy above the level of a paramecium's puts you in the position of either having to be an asshole or responding to that person's demands, requests or desires. The scary/irritating thing about this is that once you start responding, you normally are expected to CONTINUE responding to suit.
Don't feel so put upon, though! You do the same thing to somebody else.
It's weird...women either like me for a friend or they wanna be my "person-to-call-in-case-of-emergency". That whole "fuckbuddy" concept just ain't happening, apparently.
Three Things...
08/21/2006 08:20:59
Three PHYSICAL Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to You:
1. Unconscious Femininity - when she does something thats just SO sensually female without it being a planned or intentional gesture
2. Athleticism - she doesnt have to be She-Ra, but if she can do some things its a plus
3. Reciprocated Attraction - I'm never pining over a woman who likes me for a friend, but...again in life
Country Livin' - Esthero
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Temper Temper
Temper! Temper! Nownow!
I want to wreck shop! I want to break some shit that shouldn't be broke...like somebody's arm. I want to sidestep somebody rushing me and hit them...HARD!!!
I'm sick to fucking death of this world!!! I'm sick of working twice as hard for half the reward. I sick of stupid niggaz and snotty bitches! I'm sick of stupid muthafukkaz being in a position to make their stupid choices achieve relevance! I'm sick of ex-wives and ex-husbands! I'm sick of people agitating me and then looking askance because I'm ready to pull their fucking arms off! I'm sick of not being able to afford training! I'm sick of restraining myself!
Mr. McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't LIKE me when I'm angry!
You don't have to worry! What's done is done!
Temper! Temper! Nownow!
Friday, April 09, 2010
eMotion
*sip*
Piss uv da Gawdz!!!
I want...
My immaturity played a good part in the dissolution of my marriage. Two years after the final nail was put into that coffin, I can finally admit this openly. Don't get me wrong, there was a LOT of shit done to me that makes people shake their head and mutter "What the fuck..?" But, she wasn't the only asshole in that matrix of madness.
The difference is: I wanted to fix it. She didn't.
Water under the bridge now, eh? It should be. However, the scars from 17 years of not measuring up to this intangible bar...this standard...set for me have left indelible scars upon my psyche. I didn't even realize this until I started trying to move on.
I did not feel free to be myself for years. The things that I enjoyed got the tsk of disapproval from my ex. After a while, I compensated with a measure of dontgiveafuckededness heretofore unknown to modern man. Meh!
Now, when I sense that feeling of disapproval...when someone acts like I ain't shit because of what I like or what I want...then (*slice*) that's it. My emotional ties to that person sever almost instantly. I'm NEVER going to feel like I felt in those months leading up to my separation & divorce again, if I can help it. Is that wrong? So be it.
D o m e s t i c S i l e n c e
*thinkin' more on this*
I'm too old to be lovesick. Fuck, man! Fuck...
I want...
OK...That ramble helped. That and the piss uv da gawdz restored apparent equilibrium. Resume the poker face. Get back to that space where I take life as it is rather than how it "should be". Feel what I feel, but give no outward indication.
Politics suck! Highbrow monkeyshines performed by unintelligent ideologues and megalomaniacal misanthropes who've managed to parlay their madness into a working gig and supported by other fools who don't mind sharing a brain. But, have at it, apes!
Scooter Store commercials are as goofy as Clapper commercials.
Spray your peeps, smack the baby teeth out your son mouth
Who can stop me? I told shorty I'ma shoot you papi
Caught him in the crapper with the clapper;
while he was doin caci
I'll probably die in jail - make it through life and fry in hell
Either way I'ma lead the way, cause only time'll tell
I rhyme for real, not that imaginary vocabulary
I really will stab you and every one of my adversaries
There's no remorse - fuck these thug niggaz, show me the boss
Gimme a hustle worth the risk of goin up North
I love my freedom, and you know I love my bein
So sometimes I gotta get ugh and mug for my per diem
I'll see him in hell, we'll settle it there, better it there
No innocent bystanders to get hit with a spare
Like I really care who catches strays from the Mac
Like I really care who you paid to rap on your track
Nigga you wack - you ain't bringing nuttin for us
I got songs with the Devil and Jesus singin on the chorus
You can't ignore us, nigga you know how we roll
Sixteen in the clip and one in the hole
...and, just like that: poof! He's gone...
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Ugh! A Perspective on Current American Culture
That's why he resorted to robbin' muhfukkaz. He needed a new rubber ring for his chair.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Throwdown - This Continuum
Not quite dead but still not quite alive
Now go... into the light
But I can't tell you
The reasons why
I'll never join you there
I can't face this hell alone
Spiraling through This Continuum
Cheating death ain't what it used to be
Agony is all that's left of me (left of me)
Now go... so far away
Cause I can't bear this
Another day
I'll never join you there
Spiraling through This Continuum
Time has taken all I've known
Smothering the life I used to love
All I've got is time... (4x)
I can't face this hell alone
Spiraling through This Continuum
Time has taken all I've known
Smothering the life I used to love
In This Continuum
I love the way he seems to change gears with his voice. Right after he says, "I'll never join you there" close your eyes and downshift from third to first. Then: Imagine you're driving a high-performance sports sedan on a California coastal road with S-curves. Get it?
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Son of a King
Diggy - Made you look Freestyle (Flow Stoopid) from Diggy Simmons on Vimeo.
Diggy comes off like a whiny brat on Run's House...but, he has more flow than a li'l bit, right here.




