Forget "Like A Man"...Just THINK!

People who know me will attest to this fact: Treating me like you think I’m stupid is one of the surest ways to get me to show you how wrong you are…usually in a manner that makes you look really simple. I used to tell my ex-girlfriend all the time, “Stop managing me.” I could tell when she was trying to use conflict resolution techniques to assuage me. Newp! Use your own brain! Even if the methodology of thought in which you engage me is one you learned, personalize it. The only textbook solution that will work on me is disengagement. In other words, go away!

Come to think of it, that’s the final conflict resolution technique that she used on me. I’m amused. Touché, pussycat!

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It’s cold as a witch’s tit here today! Why the hell is it 50-some’n degrees in Atlanta, right now?

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I watched Think Like A Man this weekend. It was ok: Happily ever after for Black girls, and whatnot. They’ll leave the theater feeling empowered. That’s important.

Meanwhile…in THIS galaxy…men with brains three feet above their pelvis remain disenchanted with the characterization in the movies.

There were too many characters in this movie. What did we really know about the women? Having a relationship with a woman without knowing what’s particularly squirrelly about her is usually a recipe for a lot of arguing. Experience and anecdotal evidence speak volumes on the subject. For instance, why did one of the characters sleep with men on first dates before she was so miraculously saved by this dating bible written by a stand-up comedian? Chris Brown’s himbo character could NOT have been SMARTER when he approached her initially. Think about it. So, what was it? Daddy issues? Was she molested as a young girl? Was she just horny all the time? Seems trivial, but each one of those issues has kept many a man up at night wondering what the hell was wrong with his woman? But, that was untouched.

That was just one issue in five. Youngest female COO in corporate history? What drove that? Naked ambition? Fear of failure?

Where was that li’l boy’s daddy?

The best-rounded man in that clique of doofuses was the married, white man. He was also the wimpiest. Dude dunked on him and he congratulated him. Testosterone replacement therapy is in order. Did it have to be portrayed that way? Newp! But, the perception in the dominant culture in American society is that a married man is a domesticated man. Minivans & helmets for the kids cuz that’s what she wants.

Regardless, the rest of those male characters were so one-dimensional and flawed that if they turned sideways, they’d disappear. Sistas SWEAR that that’s how men really are on their dating scene. “You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.” *shrug* I know there are a lot of stupid, venal, selfish men out there. There’s no sense in being defensive about that. Still, there are a lot of good men out here who are struggling to do the right thing in a society that continues to look down upon them and who passed on or who are viewed as 'undateable'.

Anyway…if you watch the movie and enjoy it for the sake of entertainment, who could find fault in that? But, if you take those scripted behaviors or the book that inspired this movie as some sort of behavioral guide, then you can probably return your brain to sender marked “UNUSED”.

Post-Racial - How Did We Get Here?

I was listening to Jon Connors “Saginaw Street Chronicles” off of his Season 2 mixtape. This was followed up by Big K.R.I.T.’s “Children of the World”. I couldn’t help but feel the despair of my little brothers. This “post-racial” world we live in is a trip. “Post-racial” apparently means insults, disparaging remarks and the continued systemic disenfranchisement of an entire ethnic group is ok as long as you show one of them in a beer commercial with the “majority”.


School systems steered little boys into positions where they could “make shit”. So, pipefitters, machinists, plumbers, painters, carpenters, mechanics, and other jobs of this sort were the jobs young men were encouraged to seek. Where I grew up, Detroit, working in “the plant” was the job a lot of dudes looked for. It was decent money. You could raise a family on it. And, industries in the area were not hiring young men from the city. Then, big corporations sent all those production jobs overseas and put the people in them out of work. Young men saw their fathers laid off and downsized after decades of doing what was expected of them.

Right around that time, the music industry corrupted & changed. In the 80s, when hip hop went public and became more than a fad, drugs were taboo and those who used them were shunned. Then, the industry gave a voice to drug users. Weed ("pot" to some of you, marijuana officially) is now viewed as the norm. Right around that same time in the 80s, crack hit the streets. The federal government’s tacit complacence, if not actual involvement, in the crack epidemic of the 1980s is a matter of public record.

A Zombie Apocalypse is some sort of cultural meme and a bit of a running joke for most people; but, I lived through Detroit in the 1980s. It was like Raccoon City up in that bitch at times.

So, “society” has steered generations of young men towards these jobs which were then taken away, stripping them of hope and livelihood. The popular music of the time shifted from themes of responsibility, camaraderie and fun to darker themes of materialism, violence and irresponsible sex. Language and music inform cultures. The worst drug epidemic this society has seen to date hits these same streets. So, you can make a LOT of money if you participate in the sale & distribution of these drugs, but to survive the most violent aspects of your personality MUST come to the fore. The other side of that coin is being a customer—using crack, looking for a high as good as that first hit. Anecdotally, some versions of crack were known as cumbomb. Your first high was so good, you’d orgasm. Seeking that elusive high is what created a rock/crack cocaine addict, also known as a “crackhead”.

The same society that stripped the people native to the continent they colonized of hope and their homes, shipping them/us (running joke or not, many Black Americans are the bastard children of two or more continents) to “reservations”, freely supplying them with a chemical addictive (alcohol in the case of Native Americans), used this tried & true methodology in inner cities in the 1980s & 90s.

The additional step of not only making possession of crack illegal, but making the penalty three times stiffer than possession of a corresponding weight of cocaine, made a further mess of things. Mandatory sentencing incarcerated thousands, then millions, of young, Black men. Incarceration became enculturation…along with the violence, misogyny, hopelessness and despair glorified in this newer form of hip hop. Language & music do as much to inform a culture as they are informed by it, after all. Then, the same "post-racial" society whose majority culture & systemic bigotry enabled this entire sad, sorry state of affairs, clucks its collective tongue, shakes its big, collective head and places all the blame squarely on the Black Man.

The hate affair that America has with the Black Man is deeper and even more insidious than what I’ve stated. As I wrote, the rabbit hole just kept getting deeper. Consider that conquerors have proven over the centuries that if you take the men out of the equation, if you can emasculate them either physically or psychologically, then you can do what you want with their women. Follow that thought to its natural end. I elected not to follow every branch of thought, however. There isn’t enough time.

Still, my brothas, you’re playing with a stacked deck. I salute each & every one of you who beat the odds and is trying to do the right thing despite the "post-racial" world around you. Keep your head up and be smart.

F'real, tho...

Paragraph upon paragraph, months later...

In the end, this why she mad:

...and, I wasn't even trying to play it like this.

If you know you're ultimately incompatible with someone, how long are YOU going to play pretend? Then, you tell them, without either being inconsiderate or mean, that this thing you have going on doesn't work for you. You tell them that you don't WANT them to change themselves. You just want/need to move forward.  That, after all, is the entire point of DATING. You're testing your compatibility with this person.

There was a period after the breakup where my sole concern was improving my life for my brats and for myself. I was completely unconcerned with dating. PS3 was all the entertainment I needed. It was during that time period that I ran into someone interesting. That is no slight on ANY of my exes.

So, please stop taking it like that. You know you couldn't deal with me or my bratz, anyway.

Tweet! Tweet! Rockin’ Robin!

I've done some acrobatically filthy things with eagerly willing participants. But…

*lost my thought*

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Wassup, piglets.

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I need a Mountain Dew. But, MD keeps weight on you like a diver's belt. So, my creativity must be internally fueled. I apologize in advance.

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So, yeah…Twitter. Ever tried it? Tens of millions of people on it as you read this, but I know a few people who still think, "That's just a fad." Hell, my dad, who has sent me 800-character text messages, still thinks rap is a fad and hates my baggy jeans & boots. Meanwhile, my son rides a skateboard and dresses like a pre-1968 peace activist complete with "stovepipe" jeans, fedoras, and oxford shirts.

Anyway, I apologize for the digression. Back to Twitter. The more I interact with people on the basis of hip hop on this social medium, the more artists I find who are creating some great music without the backing or, more importantly, direction of profit-driven, commercial radio-focused major labels.

You've seen young Wiki, below. But, I've also found hard working, but relatively unknown, artists, groups and producers like Classified, Conrizzle, Clear Soul Forces, Droop E, Mike Mills, and Reallionaire Jream along with Hip Hop legends like Erick Sermon. I named these folks in particular because they have free music on the web…and, it's good music.

*shrug* I'm sure you'll do what you do. But, if you're open to suggestion, check Twitter out, you pseudo-Luddite. It might surprise you.

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If a woman the same size as her partner picks a physical fight with him and he defends himself, is he an "abuser"? Women will say some crazy shit like, "She couldn't hurt him"...as if his skin is organic steel like Colossus. Or: He shouldn't have been with her in the first place. (Riiight. Cuz, prognostication & clairvoyance comes with the penis.) Or, my favorite: Men MAKE women act like they do. (I've heard that from a few women who didn't want to take responsibility for their OWN actions.)


Seen this yet? Rihanna Defiantly Refuses to End Contact with Chris Brown

There a reason why those two singers keep hanging out. Everyone condemned the dude, ignoring reports that their relationship was "volatile". "Volatile" is media for "She swings on folks". Now, look back at how that shook out. When she showed up w/black eyes, she wasn't talking. You ever got your ass beat after you started the fight? Your ass was quiet, weren't you? You knew you deserved that whuppin'.

Is domestic violence acceptable? No. But, I bet your mom's last paycheck that your reaction is different if a dude picks a fight w/his woman and she beats dat ass. You'd laugh. Everything in the reports about the night when she showed up looking like a speed bump said to me that she picked that fight...and lost. Now...look at yourself and compare how that agitates you. He was supposed to not defend himself, right?

The rule remains the same for women as it does for men: NO HITTING!!! Maybe they've grown up some and learned that lesson.

Meanwhile...you #GoSiddown

Objectivity & the Female Gender

I do objectify women. *shrug* I won't apologize for it. I'm genetically designed to appreciate female mammalian secondary sexual characteristics. For the uninformed those are those curves produced by the XX chromosome set that make babies & straight men want to nurse. (Ma-Ma!)


I mean, I see a stacked babe wearing something form-fitting or revealing and my brain automatically begins preparing Tab A or insertion into Tabs A-C. (Yeah, I know! I'm nasty!) This is merely idle speculation, mind you. My conscious mind doesn't even bother calculating the odds of success of each angle of approach any more.

Meh! Why bother?

But, my subconscious mind is still blubbering with a reaction that I hope to never successfully quell. My subconscious mind is slavering like chained hyena with blood somewhere close. ("Gottdamm!! She got a NICE ass!!!") Fortunately, my poker face is iron. There are women who I'd put a hickey on one of her asscheeks in the middle of the Rose Bowl parade. But, they'll never know it…and, neither will you…because I have restraint. Now, when I'm around friends that I trust, I might just admit that I find a woman attractive.

I say this because I realize that women live in constant fear of men and annoyance at men. Much of this reaction is because many men don't know how to compliment a woman and don't know how to approach a woman. Much of their reaction is because many women let fashion put all their goodies out where men can ogle them. There are no excuses in either case.

Fellas, even if everything about the woman makes you want to be Tarzan to her Jane, give it a rest. Unless she says, "Yes, I'll go home with you" or something equivalent, sitcho monkey ass down.

Women, know what you want, don't send mixed signals, and put on some damned clothes. Your behavior & clothing is never EVER an excuse for stalking, molestation or rape. But, some of these dudes just DON'T know how to behave.

Anyway…I gotta go.

Deuces

The Politics of Race & the Death of a Child

The more I deal with people, the less I want to. Some people cling to this shining hope that people can rise above their simian natures to attain something better as a species. *smh* That's…NOT…gonna happen. The internet, the very vehicle of communication on which you are reading this, gives all the proof you need or desire to see mankind's TRUE condition as venal, self-centered primates.

CASE IN POINT:

As you may see below, this is the time period after the death of Trayvon Martin, a 17 year old boy slain while returning from a snack run. George Zimmerman, an armed 28-year-old man, after being instructed to remain in his vehicle, stalked, confronted and killed this unarmed teenager with a gunshot. What I stated here is not disputed by anyone. However, justification for this young man's MURDER is offered based on the fact that Trayvon is a Black teenager while Zimmerman is of mixed racial descent, White & Latino. Caucasian Americans have offered statistics on "Black on Black" crime in rebuttal.

HOW IS THAT RELEVANT?

What you're saying is that I should not feel outrage at this young man's death because of something that happened to someone else? You're excusing the murder of a child because of…racial politics? People's propensity to play saints & sinners in response to a tragedy is sickening.

George Zimmerman's father is a retired District Court judge. And, while you can't PROVE something like coercion or use of influence by their absence, what man do you know of that can get into a physical dispute with a policeman and the case just goes away? Don't let Zimmerman's undoubtedly shrewd defense team trick you into thinking about this case in the terms of race. Once you do, then they can plant seeds of reasonable doubt. That's legalese for, "Maybe he didn't do it." Or, "Maybe Trayvon deserved to die."

The bottom line is this: Zimmerman is NOT a police officer. This was NOT an undercover operation. Young Mr. Martin was unarmed and did not confront Mr. Zimmerman in his vehicle. Finally, there's this: If George Zimmerman had remained in his car, had followed police instruction, had not stalked and confronted this man-child, he may not be alive today; BUT HE WOULD NOT HAVE DIED THAT NIGHT AT GEORGE ZIMMERMAN'S HAND. That, and only that, is the basis for judgment.

The politics of race OBVIOUSLY needs to still be addressed in America.^* 44 years after the death of America's most famous civil rights leader, digression in the mindset of the majority and in their children is horribly evident in the incendiary comments and posts left intentionally scattered throughout this very vehicle of communication on which you are reading this. But, leave it out of THIS case and judge just based on the evidence.

^* A heartfelt plea to the Crown Prosecution Service in the UK is here: http://blogs.independent.co.uk/2012/04/02/police-the-race-game-and-a-request-to-the-cps/
A father's lessons to his son are here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/24/trayvon-martin-my-son-and_1_n_1377003.html?ref=mostpopular
Be sure to read the comments & responses to both. They might be enlightening.