Do you realize that The Usual Suspects is now 15 years old? That's older than my children. Wow, time flies.
My children told me that my 12-year-old daughter choked out a high-school boy. By way of explanation, my daughter said, "I told him to 'tap out', but he wouldn't." *smh* She doesn't even get how physically impressive she is and could be with more training.
Then, as I left to run an errand yesterday, she was in the parking lot playing football with the boys. Last night, she told me, "I love it when boys say, 'Girls can't play football." She also said that the QB would just tell her to "run it" and pitch her the football.
"Mildred have her bikini on, Saturday"
"Thank God, no!"
I'm gonna hurt myself trying not to laugh at these dudes.
Am I messing up? Am I supposed to discuss tools when I talk to other dudes? Acetylene torches? Welding? I'm in trouble.
...although, it does seem like 20% of the explosion-related deaths on darwinawards.com seem to be torch-related. No! No good could come of ME knowing about torches.
I will say this: WD-40 works like household napalm.
The only reason those true.com ads keep running is because suckers keep falling for the okey-doke. Yeah, some skinny, white girl with 34 to 38 teeth wants to talk to YOU...whilst tucking her hair behind her ears. And, she's excited to see your typed words, too. Because...even though she's what you think is hawt, she's gonna be home on the PC because nobody's trying to date (read: bone/screw/fuck/bang out) her in real life.
*smh* You poor, stupid schmuck.
The lady behind the fake pic has her comfortable shoes on the floor next to her. Her feet hurt from her long evening of stocking shelves at 'the Walmart'. She's kinda dumpy and she has three bad-assed kids, the oldest of whom always seems to get the 'good' weed, despite the fact that he's NEVER held a job longer than six weeks.
Anyway...A WORD, PLEASE: Dark-skinned honies? You know I luh yew, right? Good! So, I'm saying this to you with all the love (and lust) in my heart:
STOP TRYING TO GO BLONDE!!!
Just stop it!
There is nothing wrong with the auburn or brunette hair that you naturally have. But, that peroxide blonde just DOESN'T look right on you! It makes you look cheap, fake and tawdry! You can do better than that. You really can.
*muttering* Ionno why everybody's been beating around THAT particular bush.
