Stability…Reassurance

An overwhelming percentage of the activity that we engage in is in a search for stability and reassurance. Even when the activity is self-destructive, it is usually a person's way of asserting their own individuality, which in turn reassures that individual that he or she is unique and in control of their 'self'. Nowhere in human behavior is this more evident than in the mating rituals of humankind. In increasingly rare circumstances, parents pick their child's mate. Even this practice is followed to assure the parents and other older relatives that their genetic heritage will continue. Stability…reassurance.

Social media, the latest internet rage, puts a new spin on mating rituals. You can build a profile of yourself for others to review. You add relevant, socially acceptable (American custom considers asking a woman's height marginally acceptable, but asking her weight to be unacceptable), statistics and, usually, a description of yourself before placing yourself on display like a canned ham on a shelf. Then, other individuals peruse those e-shelves. They poke, prod and examine the merchandise in hopes of finding that perfect someone. By matching your stated desires with someone's stated qualities, you're assured of finding the person that you are compatible with…at least that what the marketing department says. Stability…reassurance.

The thing is: Nobody wants to think of himself or herself as 'average'. So, women are "purpose-driven" and "motivated" and are "looking for the same in a life partner". Stability…reassurance. *smh* Are those the words that come to your mind when you think about the people that love you? Honestly? Ugh!

Even guys who profess to have that "I don't love them hoes" philosophy live that way in order to protect their fragile egos. Their professed philosophy states that if they achieve a level of success in their chosen enterprise, then they will gain the attention of women anyway. But, because of their success, these males can now deal with females on their own terms. Stability…reassurance.

I just want to be settled enough in myself that I don't need to engage in these monkeyshines. I want to free myself from my own need of reassurance and find my own stability. I function best in a state of detachment. I'm well aware that this is my own form of stability & reassurance. But, like you, I need to be able to live with myself.

*deuces*