Crabbie Patties

Do we really have that crabs in a bucket mentality? Sheesh! Remember when I told you how brothaz do each other in class when they're a little advanced and know a couple things? They try to put you in a hold that hurts. Basically, they wanna make you look like a bitch. What's going on in their heads that they think this is necessary? I'm wondering if there's some subtle dynamic in the class that I'm missing that makes a brotha come roaring out of the blocks like that.

Now, before I dealt with all of this, I got called out by this Latino dude. I don't know why he called ME out, with 15 people standing there. But, he did. So, we rolled. He immediately went into a flurry of moves trying to submit me. I wasn't being mean or malicious, honestly. But, I bounced him all over that mat. Mostly working on the 'No' technique. I got a side mount. I went from a side mount to a full mount. That's pretty good. I'm pleased that I could do that.

Tonight, I rolled with three brothaz, a Latino and an Asian dude. I got caught in one armbar…but, that's because I couldn't do ANOTHER somersault. Yeah, me: All 76" and eighth of a ton of dark meat in class doing flips to get out of holds. So, anyway, new guy in class tonight…big brotha named Curtis. Curtis is strong as shit, too. But, I was showing him the basic guard and guard pass. He was burning a lot of energy trying to keep me in his guard. I told him, "At our size, you're going to burn energy a lot faster than these little dudes. Conserve energy."

So, then the other brotha comes over. He says, "We'll switch up." So, Curtis goes and sticks his neck out and gets triangle choked. I ain't tell him about that. I guess that was Lesson 2. So, then, I roll with the dude and he immediately started trying to put me in an armbar. I employed the 'No' technique to perfection. I looked up at Curtis and said, "He knows a lot of arm submissions." So, of course, dude switches over to leg submissions. I did three (count 'em: THREE) flips to get out of them. He looked at me with new respect after that.

I rolled with Tom today. Tom's Vietnamese and built like a fireplug. Every time that I've been honestly submitted and it wasn't fatigue, Tom's done it. He makes me sick. But, Tom's a cool dude. So, whatever. Tom started out in my guard, worked out of it, and blocked my armbar attempt. (My submissions SUCK!!!) I did two flips getting out of armbars by Tom. The last time, I was EXHAUSTED. I ended up tapping. So far, of all the fighters that I've faced, Tom's the only person that my 'No' technique just flat-out fails on. Of course, he has forearms like Popeye, no exaggeration. He grabs my wrist and it's like being in a vise…and I can't MAKE him let go. *smh* I'm subconsciously workin' on that one. 

Papa Klump to Mama Klump (after she kept passing out seeing Sherman's transformations: I ain't gon' keep PICKIN' yo' big ass up!

And, lastly, I rolled with this brotha named Joseph. Joseph worked hard. I was hard-pressed to keep him in my guard. I went for an armbar and that muhfukkah flipped me completely over. I kicked off the wall and got out of a submission. I narrowed my eyes. I said, 'How long have you been doing this?" He said that he'd only been in class a couple months. I had a psyqyq epiphany: But, you've wrestled, haven't you? He just grinned. I said, "I hate fighting wrestlers. It's like fighting a wet blanket." I almost got him in an iron cross.

All-in-all, I had a really good workout. The teacher gave me pounds. The arm that got caught in the armbar HURTS, though. I need a big booty cutie to sit on it and massage it with her asscheeks.

. o O ( Did I just say that out loud?!? )