Mat burn on both big toes, I'm coughing up 4.5 years of phlegm and wheezing like an asthmatic beatboxer who can't find his inhaler. My shoulders feeling like they've been put in a blender on PUREE and then patted back into place. My ass feels like it's going to cramp from jumping rope for minutes at a time. A tattooed Latino is looming over me flexing his fingers and putting both of his hands on my throat to choke me.
And to think: I wanted to do this.
...the fuck?!?
Yeah, I'm back in jiu jitsu. I freaking LOVE this. How come I jump rope better than the Brazilian chicks? (THAT was distracting, by the way. I tripped over the rope a couple/few times trying to NOT watch the jigglage. Eventually, I had to turn and face the wall.) That's another indicator that I'm serious about this stuff. There was a chick fight with Brazilian chicks, no less, going on mere feet from me. (The girls sparred.) I didn't even stop to watch.
I'm so machoor!!! ←← LOL@that
On the plus side, before I gas, I move very quickly for my size. My sparring partner didn't believe that I weigh 253 lbs. Let me lose the 25 like I want. [white girl voice]Oh...my...god! Ohmigawd![/white girl voice]
But, for real, there is more room for improvement than you can imagine. I could not sink a guillotine on that smooth, bald head. My cardio is ass. But, Imma fix THAT.
Can somebody go to Sam's Club and get me one of those Tub o' Ibuprofen bottles, please! Thank you in advance!
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