Bran New Heavy

LoL@me http://t.co/s3uZy1EbD4 pic.twitter.com/99Q53r6y3y

— psy (@psyqyq) December 1, 2014

I can't stop laughing at this.

Share and Share Alike

Raptors guard Lou Williams has two girlfriends. His girlfriend has a girlfriend & he apparently dates both. Amazing. pic.twitter.com/6QSav7rZ0S

— NBA Legion (@MySportsLegion) December 16, 2014

F'real, though: When you hit it right, she ain't 'BOUT to share!

What's next?

Todd Duffee wants a higher ranked fighter. Brendan Schaub wants to reverse his trend of sloppy losses. Easy match, Joe Silva.

Idle Thought

Honestly, I'm just glad that Oscar Pistorius doesn't have ebola. The way that he keeps crying and snotting all over that courtroom, he'd infect half of South Africa.

ZER0

I had a long, cathartic conversation with a very good friend of mine tonight. It seemed to be mutually therapeutic. I talked about things going on in my head, my heart, and my life. To my surprise, I told her something I've never told another living soul. I felt as if something of a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, too.

Do you know one thing I =>fully<= realized? I want a wife...not a wifey...not a fuckbuddy...not any of those other made-up, "modern" parodies of a real relationship. That's the rut. THAT is the rut!!!

Dudes don't hold hands any more, y'know? I want to hold my wife's hand. I want to wash her hair, clean the kitchen with her, and give her the side eye about her driving. I want to call in to work on a stormy morning and stay home with her watching Cary Grant movies. Sure, I can do that with a girlfriend. But, I want to do that with MY wife.

My friend said she pretty much aims to not be unhappy...which is something I have found myself doing. But, if life was a number line, like in math class, then not unhappy is just...zero. That's a sucky way to enjoy the GIFT of life, ain't it? But, people FIERCELY protect their zero. There has to be more.

Now, I have to get MYself together. Ugh!

Thanks to Natty Dreadnok for finding this gem amongst the jetsam & flotsam.

Here We Go

I think that I need to start writing again. Internalizing the levels of stress I'm dealing with is not helping. In the end, this is more my little sliver of the internet than any other space that I utilize. So, I shall begin again...here. Maybe, I can achieve a personal breakthrough, or at least some traction. Yes...traction would be nice.

So...what the hell is wrong with me?

Where should I begin? The beginning? Son of two highly intelligent people who had every intent to move to Colombia, S.A. to become Christian missionaries. My mom found out she was pregnant with me the day my Dad quit his job.

Maybe not THAT far back. But, check this out: They're still married. They're still thick as thieves. You think *I* am an ass? I am. I can't even deny that. But, I don't hold a candle to my father. Physically and emotionally, I have a slight edge. Mentally and spiritually? That man is a sun to my candle. My mama loves that man, though. (I do too, if you don't know. But, that's not the point.)

That's the example I have though. In all of my perambulations through this torturous exercise we call "life", my base...the most fundamental part of me...is one where a man marries and builds a life with an equally formidable partner and it is the two of you braced back-to-back wielding the sword of God against all comers.

#FAIL

So, now what?

So, now I reach for my now-classic emotional detachment and deal with the issues that confront me.

I'm too much of this and not enough of that for the women that I've met. I still crave that attention. But, with so many things confronting me right now, maybe I oughta just sit my ass down. Lord knows I don't wanna deal with another rejection on top of the struggles I'm having taking care of my children.

Still, it'd be nice to be wrong.